Why Executive Function Struggles Are So Common—and What You Can Do at Home

Recently,  I’ve attended three different executive function workshops and webinars. I wanted to make sure I was up to date on the latest research so I could support our students with the most effective methods. What surprised me most was how much of this “new research” confirmed what we’ve been doing at Brigham Learning all along.

It also made me think about the many families who reach out to us because of executive function challenges. For so many parents, this is the landing page—the pain point that feels like an everyday battle.

Maybe these questions sound familiar:

• Why can’t my son just sit down and do his work?

• How does someone complete an assignment and forget to hand it in?

• Why can’t they use Google Classroom to figure out when work is due?

• Why do I always have to be the homework police?

If any of these sound like you, you’re not alone. These are real, daily frustrations for many families.

Rather than spending time debating why executive function struggles have become so common (and they have), let’s focus on what actually helps—at home, in tutoring, and at school.

What I’ve Learned—and Why Quick Fixes Don’t Work

One big takeaway from these workshops? Executive function tutoring cannot be done in a vacuum. You can’t just swoop in, organize everything, and expect it to last.

Here’s why: Many coaches come in with a system—folders, binders, color-coded calendars, digital planners—and for a short time, it looks amazing. Backpacks are spotless, desks are cleared, emails sorted.

But if it’s someone else’s system and we never ask, Why wasn’t the student organizing this way in the first place?, none of it will stick.

It’s like having someone organize your closet for you. It looks great—until real life happens. Without understanding habits and preferences, the clutter creeps back in.

The Most Overlooked Step: Ask, Don’t Tell

We often forget to ask students what they think:

• What are your goals?

• How do you feel when homework isn’t handed in?

• Do you want your desk to be organized?

• What would make evenings less stressful for you?

When I sit down with a student, we start with curiosity—not criticism. I ask about favorite teachers, subjects that feel overwhelming, what they would change about school if they could. These conversations reveal so much and set the tone for real progress.

If I Could Change Just Two Things About How Students Work

1. Don’t study more—study smarter.
Hours of cramming the night before a math test rarely works. Instead, spread study time out: 20 minutes, 3 to 4 times a week. This helps move information into long-term memory.

2. Step away from the screen when you can.
If you can print it, print it. If you can take handwritten notes, do it. Writing things down, making flashcards, explaining concepts out loud—all of these strengthen understanding. Simply re-reading notes on a Chromebook is passive, and it doesn’t stick.

The Big Picture: Build the Toolbox

Studying effectively means building a toolbox, not just showing up with a hammer. When faced with a test, a paper, or a class discussion, students need to pull from a well of strategies, not rely on what they crammed the night before.

Learning isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. You can’t just memorize vocab words and expect to do well—you need to understand them in context, use them in conversation, and make connections.

At first, these concepts can feel hard for students to grasp, but they lead to some of the most meaningful conversations I have with students. Because ultimately, they have the intelligence and ability—they’re just showing up with the hammer instead of the toolbox.

Practical Strategies You Can Try at Home

Here are five small but powerful steps you can take right now to support your child’s executive function skills:

1. Shift from telling to asking.
   Replace “Why didn’t you…?” with “What’s your plan for…?” It keeps the conversation positive and helps them take ownership.

2. Break down big tasks.
   If an essay is due Friday, help your child map out mini-deadlines: outline Monday, intro Tuesday, first draft Wednesday. Small steps prevent overwhelm.

3. Preview and review.
   Before homework, glance at class notes or an upcoming lesson summary. After class, take one minute to review what was covered. These tiny habits boost retention.

4. Build in screen-free study moments.
   Print assignments when possible, or keep a notebook nearby for jotting ideas. Writing activates the brain differently than typing.

5. Model the behavior.
   Let your child see you planning your day, making lists, or tackling a project in steps. Executive function is learned through modeling.
   

Bottom line: Executive function isn’t about finding the perfect planner or the magic app. It’s about helping kids develop habits, self-awareness, and tools that work for them. With patience, curiosity, and consistency, progress will come—and it doesn’t have to feel like a constant power struggle.

Photo by [Allison Fors] (https://allisonfors.com/executive-functioning-speech-therapy/), “Executive Functioning and Speech Therapy,” September 13, 2022.