Back to School — and What Comes After
There will be years ahead when you miss back-to-school.
For almost three decades, the school calendar has shaped the rhythm of my life—both professionally and at home. In my work, the school year brought the familiar cadence of a busy September and the quiet slowdown of summer. And at home, it drove everything: meal planning, vacations, weekends, and energy.
I remember the intensity of those early years—the color-coded calendars, the school supply lists, and the frenzy of back-to-school shopping. Then came middle school, when our own social lives quietly surrendered to carpools and practice schedules. And high school... well, it was just as busy, only now with more tension, and more tightrope walking. You’re still managing all the logistics, but also trying to dodge mood swings and teenage resistance, while helping your child find their own way through stress, social drama, disappointment, and changing relationships—including the one they have with you.
This September, as I prepare to take my youngest to Spain for university, I feel the shift in our family’s rhythm. The house is quieter. There’s no last-minute Staples run. There’s no back-to-school clothes shopping (he has wisely chosen to do that in Spain) or organizing binders and backpacks. And it’s left me reflecting on the strange, bittersweet reward of parenting:
Just as your kids become people you really want to spend time with—funny, interesting, independent, thoughtful—they leave.
As they should. As they need to.
But it still feels like a twisted exchange.
You endure the cranky mornings, the hormone-fueled meltdowns, the chaotic evenings—and in return, you raise kind, decent humans. The kind of people who make great friends and partners. The kind you genuinely want around. And then off they go.
So, to those of you still in the thick of it, here are three small pieces of advice for the season:
Make the List. Write down everything that needs to happen before school starts—finishing (or starting) the math packet, buying notebooks, the inevitable Staples run.
Hand It Off. Give the list to your child. Let them decide when and how to get it done. Step away. Stop talking.
Let It Be. Maybe they won’t finish the packet. Maybe they’ll show up without the right binder. But they’ll own the mistake—and the consequence. They need to experience that so that someday in the not-so-distant future, when they are getting ready to go to college or their first apartment, they are not looking to you for the list.
Lastly, if you are looking ahead and wondering:
“What’s realistic this year?”
“Are we thinking about college the right way?”
“Does my child need some academic support?”
Reach out. Whether it’s planning, testing, or just talking through what’s ahead—I’d be happy to help.
School isn’t forever. It doesn’t feel true now, but one day you may miss the noise, the chaos, the packed calendar. For now, take a breath. You’re doing just fine.
